Aussie_oi_oi Posted March 12, 2022 Share Posted March 12, 2022 Joke of the day 😉 One morning Little Johnny came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches. An alter boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he’d just seen. “Son, you’ve just witnessed a miracle,” the priest said. “Tell me where is this man now?” “Flat on his ass over by the holy water,” said the boy. 😉 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted March 12, 2022 Share Posted March 12, 2022 Joke of the day 😉 Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said, "TWO PROSTITUTES . . . $50.00." A policeman seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time another car passed with a sign saying "Jesus Saves." They asked the cop why he let the other car go and he said, "well, that's a little different it pertains to religion." So they took their sign down and the next day there they were, driving around town with a new sign which said, (Two Angels Seeking Peter . . . $50.00." 😉 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted March 12, 2022 Share Posted March 12, 2022 Joke of the day 😉 Two old guys talking. Bill said to the other: "My 69th birthday was yesterday. Wife gave me an SUV". Other guy: "Wow, that's amazing! Imagine, an SUV! What a great gift!" Bill: Yup. "Socks, Underwear and Viagra!" 😉 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pulo filipe Posted March 12, 2022 Share Posted March 12, 2022 Afarian, Joãozinhok bere amarekin hitz egiten du: - Ama, zergatik da aita burusoila? - Beno, seme.... Gauza asko dituelako pentsatzeko eta oso inteligentea baita! - Baina ama... orduan zergatik daukazu hainbeste ilea? - Isildu eta jan zopa odoltsu hau, mutil! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pulo filipe Posted March 12, 2022 Share Posted March 12, 2022 Trafikoan zihoan gizon bat gelditzen da, eta, bat-batean, norbaitek autoaren leihoa jotzen du. Leihotik behera bota eta beste gizonak zer nahi duen galdetzen du. Beste gizonak dio: «Bush presidentea bahitu dute eta erreskatea 50 milioi dolar da. Erreskatea ordaintzen ez bada, bahitzaileak gasolina botako du eta su emango dio. Ekarpenak biltzen ari gara. Parte hartu nahiko zenuke?». Kotxean dagoen gizonak galdetzen du: 'Batez beste zenbat ematen du jendeak?' Beste gizonak erantzuten dio: «5-10 litro inguru». 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBG 150 Posted March 12, 2022 Share Posted March 12, 2022 5 hours ago, pulo filipe said: A man in traffic stops and suddenly someone knocks on the car window. He throws himself out the window and asks what the other man wants. The other man says: “President Biden has been kidnapped and the ransom is $ 50 million. If the ransom is not paid, the kidnapper will throw gas and set it on fire. We are collecting contributions. Would you like to take part? ' The man in the car asks, 'How much do people pay on average?' The other man replies, "About 5-10 gallons." Fixed it for you! You were way out of date. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted March 13, 2022 Share Posted March 13, 2022 22 hours ago, pulo filipe said: Bush presidentea bahitu dute eta That should say, Trump, not Bush. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted March 13, 2022 Share Posted March 13, 2022 Joke of the day 😉 A lunatic escapes from an asylum, runs into the launderette of the nearest town, shags 3 women and runs away. The headline in the evening paper reads ................... ... "NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS" 😉 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted March 14, 2022 Share Posted March 14, 2022 Joke of the day 😉 After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart. It’s Eric. I'm on the train. Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not four thirty, but I had a long meeting. No, honey, not with that blonde from the accounts office. It was with the boss. No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life. Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart." Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly. The young woman sitting next to him had enough and she leaned over and said into the phone, "Eric, hang up the phone and come back to bed." Eric doesn't use his cell phone in public any longer 😉 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted March 15, 2022 Share Posted March 15, 2022 Joke of the day 😉 Lost at Costco Two guys, one old timer and one young, were pushing their carts around Costco when they collide. The old timer said to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy said, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate." The old guy said, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?" The young guy replied, "Well, she is 24 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, big blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?" The old timer said, "It doesn't matter. Let's look for yours..." 😉 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted March 16, 2022 Share Posted March 16, 2022 Joke of the day 😉 A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of Course," replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!" the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again." 😉 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pulo filipe Posted March 17, 2022 Share Posted March 17, 2022 The pilot of the plane opens the microphone and says: - Messrs. Passengers, let's now fly at 35,000 feet. If there is any small turbulence, do not be alarmed, this is normal, as we are going through a storm. Forgetting to turn off the microphone, he still says to the co-pilot: - All I want now is a blowjob and a cup of coffee! The flight attendant, hearing this, runs towards the cabin to warn him from the microphone and then a passenger shouts from the back: - Don't forget the coffee! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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