letsdothis Posted February 10, 2021 Share Posted February 10, 2021 Mom: What do IDK, LY & TTYL mean? Son: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later. Mom: OK, I will ask your sister. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted February 10, 2021 Share Posted February 10, 2021 Scene: Me using the Siri app on my iPhone. Me: Siri, call my wife. Siri: Samantha McLaughlin is not in your contacts. Me: Samantha Gibbs is my wife. Siri: I’ve added Samantha Gibbs as your wife. Me: Call my wife. Siri: Which wife? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted February 10, 2021 Share Posted February 10, 2021 Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account? They were Prime mates. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted February 10, 2021 Share Posted February 10, 2021 What do call people who pour the milk before the cereal? Cereal killers. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StnCld316 Posted February 11, 2021 Share Posted February 11, 2021 A poor family lives on a farm and they rely on their chickens for income. One morning, the father walks outside to find the chicken coop empty and the corpses of chickens on the ground. "There’s nothing that could help get us out of poverty now," says the dad as he shoots himself. The mom walks outside and sees the dad and the chickens on the ground. "I can't live without my husband," she says as she shoots herself with her husband's gun. The daughter walks outside and sees her mother, father, and the dead chickens. "I can't live any longer without my family," she says as she jumps into the river and kills herself. The oldest son, 23 years old, walks outside looking for the family and sees them all dead. "Is there anyway to bring them back," he yells at the sky. Poof! A magical fairy appears out of thin air. "I will bring your whole family back to life, even the chickens," she says, "if you can fuck me 5 times in a row. If not, I get to kill you." The boy fucks her 2 times in a row and he dies. The middle son, 19 years old, comes out and sees the fairy. She gives him the same offer as his brother. "I will bring your whole family back to life, even the chickens," she says, "if you can fuck me 5 times in a row. If not, I get to kill you." The son agrees to do it but can only do it 4 times. He dies. The youngest son, 15 years old, comes out and is given the same offer. "I will bring your whole family back to life, even the chickens," she says, "if you can fuck me 5 times in a row. If not I get to kill you." The son says, "What if I fuck you 10 times in a row?" The fairy thinks. She says, "I will bring back your family and grant you fortune. The son says, "What if I fuck you 20 times in a row?" She thinks again and says, "I will bring back your family, grant you fortune, and give you a mansion." The son thinks and says, "What if I fuck you 30 times in a row?" She thinks and says, "I will bring back your family and ensure that your family bloodline remains rich for the next generations to come." The son says, "Wait, how do I know you’ll survive it?" "What do you mean?" says the fairy. "The chickens didn't." 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted February 13, 2021 Share Posted February 13, 2021 Autocorrect has become my worst enema. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted February 13, 2021 Share Posted February 13, 2021 "I feel like carp today" "Yeah, you look a little fishy" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted February 13, 2021 Share Posted February 13, 2021 "I am hungary." "Maybe you should czech the fridge." "I'm russian to the kitchen. Is there any turkey?" "We have some, but it's covered in greece" "Ew, there's norway I'd eat that!" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave 27 Posted February 13, 2021 Share Posted February 13, 2021 3 hours ago, letsdothis said: "I am hungary." "Maybe you should czech the fridge." "I'm russian to the kitchen. Is there any turkey?" "We have some, but it's covered in greece" "Ew, there's norway I'd eat that!" If ukraine your neck you'll see there's moldova everything😁 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neil_r549 Posted February 13, 2021 Share Posted February 13, 2021 so this bloke goes into a bar and orders a beer. In the corner there's this little guy, about a foot tall, playing the piano. On the bar there is a jar and a genie in it. He asks the barman what the genie thing is all about - the little piano player carries on. Oh, you can make a wish with him if you want but I'll warn you his hearing isn't that good. OK says the guy and makes his wish. Suddenly loads of ducks come flying into the bar. What the fuck, I asked for a thousand bucks!! How do think I feel, looking over to the little pianist - I asked for a 12 inch penis😁 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted February 13, 2021 Share Posted February 13, 2021 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
letsdothis Posted February 13, 2021 Share Posted February 13, 2021 Does the Name Pavlov Ring a Bell? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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