Jokes #2

[letsdothis]

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from ?"
His father replied: "Well, son, you must have gotten it from your mother, because I still have mine."

[letsdothis]

Don't know if it's true, but it's funny.

On July 20, 1969, as commander of the Apollo 11 lunar module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon. His first words after stepping on the moon, "that's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," were televised on earth and heard by millions.

But, just before he reentered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark 'good luck, Mr. Gorsky.' Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival soviet cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.

Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but he always just smiled.

On July 5, 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter again brought up the 26-year-old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had died, so Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

In 1938 when he was a kid in a small Midwest town, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit the ball, which landed in his neighbor's yard by the bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr. And Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky.

"Sex! You want sex?! You'll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

 

NOTE: I just looked it up. It's not a true story. No such statement was made by Armstrong.

[letsdothis]

In 1947, computer pioneer Grace Hopper found herself working on a Mark II Computer at Harvard University. It was at this time that her associates discovered a moth had gotten trapped in one of the computer’s relays and was causing an error. The operators removed the moth and taped it in their log book, identifying it as the “first actual case of bug being found.”

Word got out that the team had “debugged” the computer, hence leading to the phrase’s use in computing and pop culture. For those interested, the offending moth’s remains, along with the original log book, can be seen at the Smithsonian National Museum of American History in Washington, D.C.

[Guest Slipper Guyquad]

The term 'Spam' regarding internet use, simply came from this little gem.

 

[letsdothis]

One day a child at my four-year-old's preschool class told her classmates that she needed a 'damp towel.'
Some of the other kids thought she said a naughty word and told on her.
The teacher stepped in to explain, "If your mom asked you to bring her a damp towel, what does she want?"
A little girl blurted out, "She means she wants that towel right now!"

[Robwin]

[SPYING 1]

7 hours ago, Robwin said:

World's largest rabbit missing, presumed stolen | Live Science

WWW.LIVESCIENCE.COM

---

Darius measures more than 4 feet long — about the height of an average 8-year-old human.

Robwin when are you going to return the rabbit to it's rightful owners 🤔

[Robwin]

1 hour ago, SPYING 1 said:

World's largest rabbit missing, presumed stolen | Live Science

WWW.LIVESCIENCE.COM

---

Darius measures more than 4 feet long — about the height of an average 8-year-old human.

Robwin when are you going to return the rabbit to it's rightful owners 🤔

You lost me pal 

[SPYING 1]

11 minutes ago, Robwin said:

You lost me pal 

You're the only one i know that lives in the U.K. where the rabbit was stolen, so i was just joking with you

[Guest Slipper Guyquad]

PayPal was originally created simply so The Pope could do his online finances.

[Guest Slipper Guyquad]

"Hi! You just come back from vacation?"

"Yeah, me and the wife went for 2 weeks"

"Where did you go?"

"Alaska"

"Why, have you forgotten already?"

[Thestarider]

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

And God saw it was good.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God, again saw it was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back,

the ten the monkey gave back,

and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.

For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.

For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.

And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information.

I'm doing it as a public service.

If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch...