Jump to content

Jokes #1


jblak

Recommended Posts

What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off? Spit, swallow, and gargle.

Why do men like big tits and a tight ass? Because they have big mouths and little dicks. 

I was sitting in the toilet at Taco Bell and it reminded me of my divorce. It was extremely messy and involved a lot of paperwork. 

 

  • Haha 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Three women were sitting having a few drinks and talking about their love lives.

The first woman said, "I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does."

The second giggled and confessed, "I call mine the miner because of his incredible shaft."

The third quietly sipped her wine until her friend asked, "So, what do you call yours?"

She frowned and said, "The postman."

"Why the postman?"

"Because he always delivers late, and half the time it's in the wrong box." :biggrin:

  • Haha 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dave is sitting at a bar, his friend Jeff comes up to him and asks ‘why are you looking so down?’

Dave says ‘Well, you know that woman at my office that I get an erection over even just thinking about her, I finally got the courage 
to ask her out’

Jeff asks ‘That’s awesome, what happened?’

Dave says ‘Before the date, I was nervous about getting a hard on in front of her so I taped my penis to my leg so even if I got a boner, 
she wouldn’t see it’

Jeff asks ‘Good thinking, what happened next?’

Dave says ‘I knocked on her door and she looks absolutely amazing, like proper gorgeous’

Jeff asks ‘Niiiice. And?’

 Dave says ‘I kicked her in the face'

🙂

  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I went to a swingers club once.
The doorman goes ''It's £15 to get in or you can pay £20, that includes a meal''
I paid £20 and went in...This oiled naked guy came up to me and said ''Hello...my name's Emile''...

 

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...