eyespy Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet’s, when they struck up a conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said: “So, why are you here?” The yellow Lab replied: “I’m a pisser. I piss on everything….the sofa, the curtains, the cat and the kids. But the final straw was last night, when I pissed in the middle of my owner’s bed.” The black Lab said: “So what’s the vet going to do?” “Gonna cut my nuts off,” came the reply from the yellow Lab. “They reckon it’ll calm me down.” The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked: “So, why are you here?” The Black Lab said: “I’m a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees. I dig just for the hell of it. When I’m inside, I dig up the carpets, but I went over the line last night, when I dug a great big hole in my owners’ couch.” “So what are they going to do to you ? ” the Yellow Lab enquired. “Looks like I’m losing my nuts too,” the dejected Black Lab said. The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked: “Why are you here?” “I’m a humper,” said the Great Dane. “I’ll hump anything. I’ll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts; I want to hump everything I see.” Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn’t help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away.” The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said: “So, it’s nuts off for you too, huh?” The Great Dane said: “No. Apparently I’m here to get my nails clipped!” 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nagachilli2 Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 4 hours ago, Alexandria said: I've trained my dog to bring me red wine. It's a Bordeaux collie. 🤣 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nagachilli2 Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 Great joke Eyespy! 🤣🤣🤣 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave 27 Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 1 hour ago, nagachilli2 said: 🤣 Hellooo,Naga mate are you there?😁👍 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nagachilli2 Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 Just now, Dave 27 said: Hellooo,Naga mate are you there?😁👍 Yep...watching blurred thumbmails, playing Football Manager and watching MOTD...😁 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nagachilli2 Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 1 hour ago, nagachilli2 said: Bordeaux collie. Red wine...play on Border Collie...😉 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave 27 Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 1 minute ago, nagachilli2 said: Red wine...play on Border Collie...😉 It was your "no reply"I was wondering about!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nagachilli2 Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 Mr Johnson, you spoil that dog. Not only do you overfeed him, but he's quite capable of licking his own balls...😁 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nagachilli2 Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 Uri Geller....surprisingly hard to stab...😏 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alexandria Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 A dentist, an electrician, and a carpenter decide to play practical jokes on their best friend in his wedding night. "I'll loosen some joints on his bed so it collapses when he's making love," says the carpenter. "I'll hot wire his mattress so they'll feel immense heat while they make love," says the electrician. "Those are good ideas," says the dentist. "But my contribution is going to be a real surprise." The next day the new husband comes to the bar to meet his friends. He says, "I congratulate you guys for making the bed heat up and collapse, but I'm gonna kill whichever one of you put Novocaine in the massage oil!" 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turkey Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 Two men are talking. One man says to the other, “There was a wag on my roof last night!” The other man says, “What is a wag?” One man answers, “Do you sometimes think I'm going out of bed in the middle of the night? to see what a wagging is? " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyChappie Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll? Because Ken came in another box. 🙂 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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