StnCld316 Posted July 16, 2021 Posted July 16, 2021 Was Barry White? Was Clint Black? Was George Straight? Was Marvin Gay? Sure made Stevie Wonder.... 4
letsdothis Posted July 16, 2021 Posted July 16, 2021 A physician had just finished up a colonoscopy. Before the patient leaves, he asks the physician, "Could you write a note for my wife, saying that my head isn't really up there?" 1
letsdothis Posted July 18, 2021 Posted July 18, 2021 Farmers Brown & Jones had adjoining farms for years and didn't get along at all. One night after supper, Farmer Brown knocked on Farmer Jones' door. When Farmer Jones answered the door, Farmer Brown said, "I know we don't talk often, but I wanted you to know that our mule just died today." Farmer Jones replied, "I'm certainly sorry to hear that, but I am wondering why you came over here to tell me?" "Because," Farmer Brown said, "you're always supposed to notify the next of kin." 1
pulo filipe Posted July 21, 2021 Posted July 21, 2021 Question: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses in the classroom? Answer: Because the students were too bright. 1
letsdothis Posted July 21, 2021 Posted July 21, 2021 My young grandson called the other day to wish me a Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "72." My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then asked, "Did you start at 1?" 2
Robwin Posted July 21, 2021 Posted July 21, 2021 How does a hen leave it's house? Through the egg-cit. 2
letsdothis Posted July 26, 2021 Posted July 26, 2021 Customer: Barkeep, what’s the special today? Barkeep: It’s an original drink we call the Zomazoid. It’s made with 2 shots each of 100 proof alcohols. It contains Vodka, Tennessee Whiskey, Tequila, and Scotch, topped with Irish Cream and Banana slices. Customer: What do the customers that order this drink say about it? Barkeep: No one really knows, we can’t understand what they’re saying. 4
albundy1089 Posted July 28, 2021 Posted July 28, 2021 Two guys are in a bar complaining how they can't pick up any woman When one points at a man sitting alone at the table. "Look at that ugly mug. We are both better looking, have nicer clothes and more money. Yet every night he take a woman home, sometimes two at the same time." "True that!" agrees his friend, "we try to talk to girls, get them interested in us. He does none of that, he just sits there entire evening, licking his eyebrows." 2
albundy1089 Posted July 30, 2021 Posted July 30, 2021 A rude man walks into the bank and tells the teller: "I want to open a fucking checking account." The teller, upset, says "We don't tolerate language like that here." The man asks "What's the fucking problem? It's not like anyone really gives a shit!" The teller then leaves without a word, to go and speak to the manager about how to deal with this man. The manager, hearing the story, goes back to the man to see what the problem is. After asking the man, he responds with " There is no fucking problem. All I wanna do is cash my 10 million dollar check from winning the lottery and then put it in this goddamn bank!" The manager responds with "Oh, and is this bitch over here giving you any problems, sir?" 2
letsdothis Posted July 31, 2021 Posted July 31, 2021 “Your underwear is much too tight and very revealing,” I said to my wife. She said, “Well, then wear your own.” 5
letsdothis Posted July 31, 2021 Posted July 31, 2021 The conceited young man had been in the hospital for some time and had been extremely well looked after by the pretty young nurse. "Nurse," said the patient, one morning. "I'm in love with you. I don't want to get well." "Don't worry," replied the nurse cheerfully, "you won't. The doctor's in love with me too, and he saw you kissing me this morning." 3
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