Foamy T. Squirrel Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 4 hours ago, scutus said: Sick, Sick, Sick attempt at humor !!!🤢 🤢 🤢 I promise to ban myself tomorrow. Really. I promise. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluewinner Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 8 hours ago, Howard said: NEWS FLASH! Over 250 cats and dogs from the St. Petersburg animal shelter have escaped! Nearby outdoor camera footage shows a 28....make that 29 year old brunette, carrying an iPad and wearing see-thru lingerie, and what appears to be a black phallic-like object protruding from her rear, enter the St Petersburg bank. Upon leaving the bank, she had a thick stack of rubles in her hand as she walked inside Paul's Locksmith Shop next door. From the locksmith, she went across the street and walked out with two large bags of Kibbles 'n Bits (for a dog's healthy glow), and Purina cat chow from Malia's Pet Shop; their motto being "meaty lips and tasty treats" to satisfy your pet's appetite. The brunette's thick stack of rubles are gone. The brunette was then seen walking to the nearby St Petersburg Animal Shelter. About 25 minutes pass before it is (figuratively) raining cats and dogs in the nearby streets of St Petersburg! There are animals running in all directions away from the shelter! They're dodging cars as if they half-backs for an NFL football team! OH THE HUMANITY!! Upon review of videos taken from inside the shelter, we see this 28....make that 29 year old brunette, disappearing from all camera views inside the shelter. It's not until about 25 minutes later, her hair disheveled and her lingerie looking ragged and wrinkled, she is seen walking with wobbly legs; emerging into a hallway and to where the animals are kept. Using a master key - she opened the padlocks that secured various dogs, cats and other critters inside their enclosures. Luring them out with food, you can hear her scream "Run Eva, Run" as the animals begin to scatter. The 28....make that 29 year old brunette magically disappears, not to be seen again. The police arrived a few minutes later to survey the crime scene. But for a few pieces of kibble and cat chow, all the enclosures are empty. Not an animal in sight. The special investigative team arrived a little later looking for forensic evidence. No fingerprints, no strands of hair - no evidence left as to who may have committed this crime. Just as Sergie, the youngest of the forensic specialists, was packing up his gear, he noticed an odd shape from the corner of his eye glistening in a room a few feet away. As he approached, he put on a fresh pair of gloves, new eye protection, and additional hazmat apparel. He was walking into a restroom. He approached the object by the sink. It appeared to be a 7" black dildo with some residue. Sergie placed it in a plastic bag, troubled by how sticky it was as it wouldn't easily release from his glove. He took it to the police lab for further analysis. To be continued (maybe). just stick to your day job, you have no talent in writing 1 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aussie_oi_oi Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 8 hours ago, Howard said: NEWS FLASH! Over 250 cats and dogs from the St. Petersburg animal shelter have escaped! Nearby outdoor camera footage shows a 28....make that 29 year old brunette, carrying an iPad and wearing see-thru lingerie, and what appears to be a black phallic-like object protruding from her rear, enter the St Petersburg bank. Upon leaving the bank, she had a thick stack of rubles in her hand as she walked inside Paul's Locksmith Shop next door. From the locksmith, she went across the street and walked out with two large bags of Kibbles 'n Bits (for a dog's healthy glow), and Purina cat chow from Malia's Pet Shop; their motto being "meaty lips and tasty treats" to satisfy your pet's appetite. The brunette's thick stack of rubles are gone. The brunette was then seen walking to the nearby St Petersburg Animal Shelter. About 25 minutes pass before it is (figuratively) raining cats and dogs in the nearby streets of St Petersburg! There are animals running in all directions away from the shelter! They're dodging cars as if they half-backs for an NFL football team! OH THE HUMANITY!! Upon review of videos taken from inside the shelter, we see this 28....make that 29 year old brunette, disappearing from all camera views inside the shelter. It's not until about 25 minutes later, her hair disheveled and her lingerie looking ragged and wrinkled, she is seen walking with wobbly legs; emerging into a hallway and to where the animals are kept. Using a master key - she opened the padlocks that secured various dogs, cats and other critters inside their enclosures. Luring them out with food, you can hear her scream "Run Eva, Run" as the animals begin to scatter. The 28....make that 29 year old brunette magically disappears, not to be seen again. The police arrived a few minutes later to survey the crime scene. But for a few pieces of kibble and cat chow, all the enclosures are empty. Not an animal in sight. The special investigative team arrived a little later looking for forensic evidence. No fingerprints, no strands of hair - no evidence left as to who may have committed this crime. Just as Sergie, the youngest of the forensic specialists, was packing up his gear, he noticed an odd shape from the corner of his eye glistening in a room a few feet away. As he approached, he put on a fresh pair of gloves, new eye protection, and additional hazmat apparel. He was walking into a restroom. He approached the object by the sink. It appeared to be a 7" black dildo with some residue. Sergie placed it in a plastic bag, troubled by how sticky it was as it wouldn't easily release from his glove. He took it to the police lab for further analysis. To be continued (maybe). To be continued (maybe). Looking forward to part 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue is the colour Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 I was going say they don't appear to let Howard out much 😜 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris hillman Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 16 minutes ago, blue is the colour said: I was going say they don't appear to let Howard out much 😜 Howard share's a room with me and he has better medication Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pulo filipe Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 part 2 😃 🐈 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicholas Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 38 minutes ago, blue is the colour said: I was going say they don't appear to let Howard out much 😜 He probably escapes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pulo filipe Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris hillman Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 7 minutes ago, pulo filipe said: Whats trump doing on here with is covid 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicholas Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 6 hours ago, Aussie_oi_oi said: To be continued (maybe). Looking forward to part 2 Well, ok, if you say so mate. Although I'm not sure why anyone might find the slightest bit of interest in such ridiculous gibberish and nonsense. 4 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicholas Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 25 minutes ago, chris hillman said: Whats trump doing on here with is covid Looks alot like him. Uncanny resemblance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbo4 Posted October 6, 2020 Share Posted October 6, 2020 1 hour ago, chris hillman said: Howard share's a room with me and he has better medication They need to increase your dosage..lol 3 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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